Letting Go, Holding On

"Be like a tree and let the dead leaves drop." - Rumi

August is over and September is just hours away. That means autumn is fast approaching. Pumpkin-flavored everything, football, cooler temperatures, ghosts, goblins and turkeys. Can you believe it? Why is it that as you age time seems to move faster. Probably entropy, right? Hmmm. Comments please. 

Anyway, back to Fall. 

When I think of autumn trees, I think about the beauty and diversity of the colors, the sound of leaves crunching under foot, how the discarded leaves dance on the wind as they make their way from branch to ground. There's even a particular smell in the air, right? So I usually don't really think about this process that trees go through and why. Why do trees eliminate the leaves? Water being held in the leaves could freeze in cold temperatures and that might affect the health of the branch. So instead, the trees shed the leaves and the branches become dormant, waiting for warmer temperatures. In other words, they shed their leaves because the leaves don't serve the tree anymore. 

But that's not where the story ends. The leaves die, but they just don't fall off. According to a 2009 NPR interview with Peter Raven, a renowned botanist, "Trees are more proactive than that. They throw their leaves off. Instead of calling this season 'The Fall,' if trees could talk they'd call this the 'Get Off Me' season." He goes on to explain that a particular hormone is released "that sends a chemical message to every leaf. As a result, little cells appear at the place where the leaf stem meets the branch. They are called 'abscission' cells. They have the same root as the word scissors, meaning they are designed, like scissors, to make a cut."

Isn't that amazing? Trees are actively trimming themselves to make room for new growth. And just when I thought trees couldn't get any cooler! 

(Side note: I have been reading a book by Richard Powers called The Overstory, which I highly recommend. In a nutshell, it's about trees. Funny thing is, I picked this book up on a whim, only knowing that it had won the Pulitzer Prize. I didn't know the subject matter. Don't you love it when the book that you need at the moment finds you? This book has made me respect and admire trees even more, which I didn't think was possible.)

So now the question becomes, "How do we apply tree logic to our lives?" How do we identify the parts of us that we want to cut out and the parts that we want to keep? One of the wonderful doctors that taught classes in IOP said, "You have to ask yourself the question: How's that working out for you?"

Activity Time!!! This is an exercise we did in group. It only takes a few minutes. You should try it! It was a really great way to see what things you want to release and what things you want to retain. Here's how it works: You take a piece of paper and a writing utensil. Then, just like in second grade when making turkeys for Thanksgiving, you draw the outline of your hands. Yep, both of them. Next, you write above the left hand, "Letting Go." And above the right hand, "Holding On." Now take the time to write inside of the left hand all of the things that aren't serving you, the things that you would like to let go of. For example, perfectionism, self-doubt and fear. Lastly, in the right hand, write things that you want to keep, that you want to cultivate, like creativity, self-compassion and confidence.

This exercise puts into perspective the parts that need trimming out of your life. Notice I said trimming and not uprooting. There is no way that for the rest of my life, perfectionism won't creep in. But by just cutting the perfectionism back a little bit, it allows room for more creativity to grow. Every time we are able to edit a little bit from the left hand, the right hand has more room for the good stuff. Less self-doubt is better self-compassion. Feeling less fear makes me more confident. 

So now that I have identified the traits that I would like to let go and the ones that I would like to hold onto, with my renewed sense of creativity, self-compassion and confidence, I went downstairs and did some literal trimming. I finally made the angled cuts on the pieces that make up the frame of the base. Yep, I did it! It really is astonishing, and, frankly, sad, how I let something so small make me so hesitant. Check this out:

 

Ta-dah! And just like that, we have a frame, with actual mitered corners. It was an accomplishment and it only took a few small cuts, see:

That was it! Those little trims and cuts made a really big difference! And, doesn't it feel good to accomplish something that seemed daunting at first?

While I am waiting for the glue to dry, I have to prepare for the next step - sanding and staining. It's not so scary this time.

As the leaves change, we too can change. With small steps, cuts, edits and trims, we can make a huge difference in our quality of life and our mental health. If we let go of the parts that are holding us back, we make room for the things that allow us to grow. Just like the trees.

xoxo

P.S. Thanks to Dr. M for the quote and S for the activity.

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