"Slow down. Calm down. Don't worry. Don't hurry. Trust the process." - E
I figure that the first place to start is the base, in other words, the ground on which the tree will sit. It must be sturdy and strong and supportive. And it must be made of wood, of course. But since this tree is meant to represent ideas that are born of today's mental health practices, what is the base for that? Where do we begin there?
As many therapists will tell you, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is today's go-to talk therapy. It essentially says that what you think affects how you feel and behave. So if you change your thoughts, you can change your feelings and behaviors. It really makes sense. And while there are numerous types of talk therapy, this one seems to be popular and is the foundation for The Miniphany Tree.
If you have never been to therapy or been around a mental health professional, you may have never heard the phrase "Trust the process." If you are familiar with this phrase, you know that it is used in therapy just as much as "Amen" is used in a Baptist church. It can be quite frustrating to hear this over and over again when you are suffering and all you want is to feel better.
But it's true. The only path to true healing is one tread with patience.
In today's world, one of the most effective treatments for most mental health disorders is a combination of talk therapy and medication. It takes time to find the right therapist, the right psychiatrist and the right cocktail of medications. You have to have good rapport and mutual respect in your relationship with your therapist. Honesty and safety are paramount in this context. The same goes for your psychiatrist or prescriber. Transparency and comfort are musts.
This concept of allowing the process to lead the way is a hard pill to swallow, especially if planning, knowing, or understanding what is happening is part of your personality or your illness. It's like allowing the motion of the water to take you where you need to go and you have to refrain from using your paddle.
I accept this premise and am applying the same theory to making The Miniphany Tree. It is definitely going to be a learning process, hopefully for both of us.
Back to the base...
My friend Doug was a light in my life that shone like no other. He always had a smile on his face, a story to tell and, usually, a beer in his hand. He had an amazing life. He owned his own skydiving company, was an inspector for Honeywell, worked as a charter pilot, and owned a bar on a golf course in Chattanooga, TN. But he was much more than his stories. He was kind and kindhearted. He called everyone Sunshine. He would give anything and everything he had to a friend in need. He was really one of a kind. And the world isn't the same without him. He died alone, in his RV. Just the way he wanted to go.
I have a few pieces of wood that he had lying around, left over from a poker table project of his. These planks and pieces of trim will be used to build the base. As I said, it must be sturdy, strong and supportive, just like Dougie was for me. He would love that I am using his wood scraps for a project of my own. "You have to use what you've got," he would say.
Luckily, it doesn't have to be that way with our mental health. You don't have to only be armed with the tools you have now. There are so many more out there! Useful ones that can help you get through a panic attack, a hard conversation with a loved one, or even grief. The Miniphany Tree will share lots of these ideas with you when the tree is ready to bear its fruit.
As for now, we are trusting the process and starting from the ground up.
Kim
